Searching Greens
Blue + Yellow = Green.
Primary school stuff.
I am no painter but recently YouTube prompted me, “Open your box of water colours and check it out. Create your own greens to match the foliage you are looking at.” One afternoon, I decided to pay attention to these electronic mutterings. Out flew the brushes and easels that had been packed away for so long that the drawing paper had yellowed. Old, semi-hardened tubes emerged from sliding cardboard boxes. I discovered pens and pencils long forgotten. It felt like an exclusive Christmas. After drawing a grid, I went on a mixing spree, creating greens and searching for the one that would match the Jade plant on my windowsill.
The more I experimented, the more I was intrigued by the subtleties, tones and hues of this seemingly common rural pigment. Hooker’s green. Sap green. Who knew? The doors to a fresh verdant world opened wide and carried me like a child on a revelatory trip, uncovering new truths about my everyday world.
That afternoon was one of the most joyous in recent memory. I’m glad I paid attention to that tiny whisper. I wondered how many such opportunities had presented themselves, waited a while, and then, walked on by, because I had not listened. I was too preoccupied, lost in thought, feeling low. I was closed to any suggestions, let alone acting on them.
When we are feeling lost, it is easy to ignore the little invitations that come our away. Saying yes to them might reveal unexpected moments of lightness and joy, connection and insights. A little time, a bit of focus and a small trusting step outside the perimeter of our comfort zone are essential before the pearl held inside a shell can be made visible.
Circle of Remembrance is a space of healing, friendship and self-discovery. If you would like to be accompanied on your journey after child-loss, you are welcome to join this free online group. Please visit www.core-community.com for more details and sign up for the monthly newsletter. If you know anyone who is dealing with this unthinkable loss, please do share this letter and link with them.
Wishing you a Happy Listening March.